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Bloke of Corned Beef

by Dad

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1.
Whos da 01:22
Whos da der
2.
Who’s that lobster walking down the street Everyone stares at their pink feet 22 degrees With big pink knees BLANCO I KNOW BLANCO I KNOW Not enough melanin Your skin is really thin Cover me in after sun Aloe vera is the one Cover me in goOoOooOoooOoooOooooOooo I don’t wanna look as BURNT AS YOU Jealous and envy of the ones who tan I can’t bear looking like a roasted nan You don’t know how lucky you are To go in the sun and not be scarred We’re a mutation Enjoy us while you can The thing that makes the world thrive Makes us little gingers DIE THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN You’ve fucking won BLANCO I KNOW BLANCO I KNOW Keep ya tans, keep ya fans I’ll keep looking like a ROASTED HAM
3.
Benylin 01:05
Benylin Benylin Benylin LET ME IN Been in every chemist in town Looked up and down The lady behind the counter knows Two of us came in before Now we’re asking for some more Put on your best disguise Don’t look her in the eyes One day in trackies Next day in a suit WHAT ABOUT THESE FANCY BOOTS She knows she knows She knows I came in before She knows she knows She knows I’ve been in an out that door Cheaper than gin and tonic And much more euphoric £5 go halves with your mate Or take them on a syrup date Benylin Benylin Benylin LET ME IN
4.
Coming to on a bridge about to die Joe thinks WHERE THE FUK AM I Last thing I knew I was covered in sick Now I’m in the flat of a fuckin prick Thought I was in hell Now I’m in a bed Last thing i knew i was wearing Joe as a belt? Tunak tunak tun Is drilled into my head Dancing by the bypass HOW LONG DOES THIS STUFF LAST? Hollys screaming in the car I think we have gone too far Ryans humping concrete walls I feel really fuckin small It’s too hard to stand up straight When you’re having YOUR OWN personal earthquake Can’t bend our joints Dismantling the fence YOU LOT CAN’T COME IN HERE AGAIN WHERESSSSSSS ME BAAAAAG Put me in the car This night has gone too far I cant see no more Satans knocking at my door Sectioned sectioned sectioned sectioned SECTIONED - That’s what we’re gonna be SECTIONED - fuck me SECTIONED - That’s what we’re gonna be SECTIONED - Mexy
5.
Crabioli 00:58
Crabioli poo queue Crabioli poo queue Where are you in the crabioli POO queue Dancing with danger Liquid that is pink What is the stink? Liquid that is pink What is the stink? What the fucks a crayfish Doesn’t belong on any dish Cover it in pest-O Does it protect from disease? NO Eating crab because we’re poor I’m not even poor, I was just greedy I should be giving this food to the needy Tempting me with it in the bin I’m vegetarian is this a sin? Evil creatures from the deep Is my bum gonna seep Will I throw up in my sleep NOW I’M SNIFFIN SAUSAGE BEAK Is this crab or per-I-OD? What is the thing the NHS said?
6.
Crusty boys FUCK OFF Speed with the lads FUCK OFF I don’t care about anything FUCK OFF Showing off FUCK OFF Crusty boys with their STUPID LITTLE DREADLOCKS Crusty boys wanna PUT YOU IN A HEADLOCK FUCK OFF I can't be nice to someone Because that means I'm weak Beak and the boys is all I care about Why are you brushing your teeth? That's not punk Can I borrow your toothbrush? That's not punk Why are you wiping your arse? That's not punk Can you wipe my arse for me? That's not punk No. No. No. No. No. No. NOOOOO. Ay mate can I have a sip of your drink? Not all crusties How many fights have you had? I'VE HAD LOADS How many girls have you shagged? I’VE SHAGGED LOADS I also really respect women I’VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND GO HAVE A FUCKIN WASH GO BACK TO YOUR MAS GO HAVE A FUCKIN WASH GO BACK TO YOUR MAS Your nob smells like brie you cant even do a normal wee WIPE THAT SMEGMA FROM YOUR SHEATH YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE ME DO AN ANGRY QUEEF AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH CRISPY DUDES WITH ATTITUDES.
7.
Bingo, Wetherspoons, Bowling Bingo, Wetherspoons, Bowling COVERED IN YOUR BLOOD AN EVERYONE’S LEFT Lets use your stub as a bingo pen Poo on miles top lip What is that on flid’s nip? My leg looks like a gammon We’re flopping in the alley like salmon Suckin on your own lips That don’t hide the fact you cut off his tip Jumping out of planes Rolling down the bowling lanes Bowling ball in the head Casa del stinkhole GO TO BED Pissing on each others legs Eating skin off flid’s head severed fingers in sanitary pads Just hanging out with the lads Get it outttttttttttttttttttttt SICK SICK SO MUCH SICK
8.
Heartburn 00:28
Too many crisps will give you heartburn And too many crisps will break your heart Too many crisps will break your heart They'll hurt your insides and make you fart
9.
Get him he's different Get him he's ill Get him he's different Get him he's ill "Where are your studs Where are your patches Sorry mate can I see your crust ID? You look too clean ...I think you need to leave" Who are these fucking fashion police I bet you shit your fucking sheets Bullshitting to seem cool I can see right through you Buck fast? Fuck fast? Do you fuck fast? You can’t even last. Mate. How bout ya, how bout ya, how bout ya FUCK OFF Ever thought about, ever thought about, ever thought about, just FUCK-ING OFF Cock off, cock off, cock off, COCK OFF Get him, get him, get him, GET HIMMMMMM Under that dirt is a guy from brighton Trying to prove himself cos hes really frightened You’ve spent ya whole life riding the trains Trying to make out your life is all pain Under them patches is a guy from kent Tryna prove himself cos he used to get called bent "I HAVE MASCULINITY If ya not crusty STAY AWAY FROM ME"
10.
Nashy 00:46
I hate the nashy and the nashy hates me too That’s why I did a sick a wank and a poo Devoid of human rights Filled with gob shites Devoid of human rights Filled with GOB SHITES There’s no water It is torture My lungs Are charred I'm going to burn my COACH CARD He offered me a pedo sweet Then we did smack under the sheets I could smell his feet Isnt that sweet NO Devoid of human rights Filled with gob shites Devoid of human rights Filled with GOB SHITES
11.
Gilbert Deya 01:03
He's been stealing babies out of hospitals Deceiving all the ladies with his miracles Giz a kid our kid Husband can't get it up Giz a kid our kid Jesus will be hard enough Gilbert Deya send a prayer From your L7 pigeon lair Ahhhh Where's your hair Do I dare to enter that shit covered lair Release them women from that cage Hang around with people your own age
12.
London 00:59
London is not the centre of the universe If you go to London you’ll come home with no purse Sell your soul for an oyster card You lot aren’t even fuckin hard North west has the least money spent Put the tudors in power again Won’t even have a fight You all just talk shiteeeeeeeeeeeeeee In this north south divide Misery is all the south provide Take ya briefcase and fuck off, fuck so far off Take ya £6 pints and.... FUCK SO FAR OFF Running for the tube when there’s one in 60 seconds You’re all, a bunch a fuckin weapons The north is so much better, even if it’s wetter The north is so much better We’ve got Sayers, we’ve got Greggs Why don't you go suck a fuckin egg

about

Just some dads having a good time writing some songs.
Songs about; hating crispy boys, the National Express, London, eating crabioli, being ginger, heartburn, an people who take being crispy punks to seriously.

"That's why the seagulls are eating the pigeons, because they can see WiFi." - Review by Jacobia Stig.

credits

released August 2, 2018

Recorded and mastered by Jacobia Stig

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about

Dad Liverpool, UK

4 piece hardcore/punk/powerviolence outfit from liverpool/UK.

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